whatever

so yeah,
nothing's been happening much just for the fact that CNY is here, and i am not in Singapore. right, just lovely ain't it.. not..
it's alright, i'm at home, seriously to be honest after loads of thinking, i'd rather be at home on the net, than outside in the cold... *nods head..
yup, watching tv, waking up at noon, and i have to admit, waking up at noon is heaven!! omg..
um.. i love wonder girls!!! i love their songs!! and they love cheetah spots too!!! so do i.. hahaha
that's it.. baby said he's coming back on Feb.20, and when he does his ass is gonna get kicked so bad.
loves,
ess

when things start to change

when things start to change, and i feel hopeless,
when all i want is for you to be there for me, to hold me up when it feels like i'm falling,
to love me the way i love you, to not hurt me...
when my hands feel like they're gonna drop off 'cos they're shivering so bad, all i want is for you to be there for me, to gimme the warmth...
when my heart races so bad it hurts, all i wanted was for you to hold me tight and lemme know that you love me...

all i wanted was for someone to love me for who i am... but i dunno if i even have your heart anymore.. i dunno if they're all lies.. i dun wanna live in a world of lies no more, i've made that decision a long time ago.. i wanted you.. be that boy...

ess

omg!! days of shopping..

hi all!!!
so i know that i've been having an emotional roller coaster ride and all, but hey, i FINALLY feel better ya'll... thanks to those who were with me on that super scary weird ride.. i appreciate it tons!! never thought i would have made it without u guys..

i went SHOPPING today, i got the japanese kind of cat bracelets thingys!! super cute, it has my chinese last name and baby's also, on PINK thread can!!! lol.. so adorable..we also went to the first all-branded mall that's ever opened here, urumqi, and omg la.. slap me.. so awesome!! although not all the store spaces are filled, LOUIS VUITTON, and ARMANI, and tons of other branded top of the world things are there, and i touched an ARMANI man's jacket.. omg.. i used my index finger, everthing seemed so fragile.. haiz.. most of the service there are awesome!!! especailly the LOUIS VUITTON one.. of all of them we only went to two.. cos once we were inside, our hearts were racing so bad we could die, we were hyperventilating can!! no pictures or cameras allowed.. the security guard would have pulled me down i suppose!! die... my dream come true!! i didn't touch the LV's... so sad.. there's always next time!!! ah!!! filled with joy to the brim!! haha.. love it love it love it!!♥♥♥
yesterday went shoppping as well with a great pal, bought this red, rainbow stripe hoodie!! love it can!!

the cat bracelet thing!!!


my hoodie..

so that's all for now folks, cos my heart can't take it.. beating so fast.. hehehehe.. ♥love me!!♥
ess

lots...

so i've felt alot of emotions, heard alot of songs that might have triggered the emotions, and seen alot of things that reminded me of stuff, the memories of the present and the past...
how sometimes it feels like there's nobody that understands you, nobody that cares about how you feel, that people take you for granted, or because they talk to you just because you are there..

when it feels like you're falling, and when that feeling comes, it triggers off a siren, a siren that tells the people that truly care that you're falling and need help... and then they find you, that feeling of joy, and feeling so touched, that actually, there are people that truly care and truly love you for who you are... from feeling like a depressed living dead to feeling full of joy,but yet somewhere in that little corner of your heart, the pain still remains... but i know, i truly know, that someday the pain will disappear, maybe not really disappear, but fade into the memories of the past... learn to put the pain at the far back of my head, to think of happy and positive things... things that will keep me going, running, and fill me up to the brim and let it over flow! i will keep on living, not for the sake of others, but for the sake of me... giving up like that is just not me..

we have one life to live, and we must live it to the fullest~

so enuf of how i feel..
today is our 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! half a year man!! omg! so its the power between u and me babe, although i have to accept the fact that you are busy~ i love u babe.. we must be strong and carry on k?! love u! hold me tight and never let me go..

loves,
don't worry about me,
ess

pain

so many nights i cried away,
countless amounts of teardrops falling like rain..
pain that kills me over and over..
the tears, the pain, the screams..
everyday i dread nightfall, the moment that would take a part of my life away from me, bit by bit it slowly kills, bit by bit i slowly slip, slip into nothingness...
living in place where nobody cares, a place that pretends to be home..
where none of your friends are, where the people who you think are friends are actually...
please, i beg whoever is there, whoever still cares, please take me back to start...
no
i know nobody said it was easy,but no one said it was this hard....
take me back to the start...
tears falling like rain..
i need a shoulder to cry on, but there isn't one..
left alone in the dark..
no love, only pain..
take me back please!

hey...........

oh hey guys,
ok so my i just passed my birthday on 31 December, it was my Sweet 16, but ok la... Sweet 16 is more for the Americans, cos THEY GET TO DRIVE WHEN THEY TURN 16, whereas in Singapore i guess its just another ordinary birthday. i just really like it becos there's the word sweet infront of it.. =.=

it was alrite, like super load of presents, awesome, the food was good, the music was good, and the horror movie was HORRIFYING! slap me, man, that was cool! ya, i've been watching JAPANESE horror for like what, 3 days straight, and now i dun really wanna watch becos of the fact that i couldn't sleep well last nite. was like awake for like 3 hours be4 i could get back to sleep, damn, i feel so peeved!

i'm more into pink, black, and of course, DIAMANTES!! hehe.. most of my stuff are studded by diamantes! lol.. *blush... but yeah, it's cool.. living my life, as it comes and goes.. that's all..

♥ I LOVE PINK!! ♥

ess