me..

Pink

Your eyes reflect the color Pink. You are a person who wears their heart on their sleeves. You are full of emotion and have a tendency to be very open with people. You adore the simple things in life and refer them as "gifts". You have an aura around you that radiates how loving and caring you are. You spend most of your time trying to make others happy. You also try to focus on yourself as well. You are also very supportive and sensitive. Because you are so emotional you have a tendency to also be very depressed and can be devastated by a loss. You can also be moody and angry at times when people disagree with you. In all you are Emotional.

(so true man!! cannot get anymore more truer!!)

我是女生只要爱一个人用尽全力去争
不管爱情有多残忍不管你笑我笨
我是女生不管爱多残忍我比谁都认真
不管是女生或女人不管你笑我笨
我是女生

what does it mean to love someone? what does it feel like to be in ❤? how do you tell if you love or like someone? how do you differentiate? or how do you tell if you like someone for who they are instead of what they are??
it's been 2 days since the 20th... he called, we talked, but there was something wrong.. his voice was strange, hard to explain, but yet it hurt me to the bottom of my heart.. there was sadness, fear, frustration, that's all i can define... i asked him what was wrong, but the only answer he gave me was "nothing". all he ever wanted was to prevent me from worrying, but if you don't tell me what's wrong, how can that ever prevent me from worrying?? whatever..
anways, we went SHOPPING yesterday, omg!! so tiring! i bet my feet were screaming.. slept like a rock..
i got fake abercrombie sweat pants, grey.. very simple.. =) thinking of getting the juicy pants soon!! lol.. ❤ it!!!
that's it..
❤s,
essiebaby❤

long

long time huh??
things are weird..
people are disappearing, changing..
seems like everybody's changing but i'm still the same.. or have i changed and no one else? oh man...
wtf la..
nothing at all..
what!!!
confused
ess

almost there...

my feelings are so mixed up right now,
i feel like this, then i feel like that...
so if let's say i return to Singapore this year for hotel management, then i don't know what baby's gonna say... yes, i know, education is very important...
then like all of a sudden i miss him so much, it's scary..
i bought a diary, it's like first time in a long long time since i started to write again... i stopped for a certain reason..

but yeah, myself and bestie started watching this korean drama series yesterday, then she slept over, and we slept at 4am.. haiz.. it's called ... walao!! one of the actors look so much like baby, so maybe that's why i all of a sudden miss him so much, not that i don't miss him, i miss him tons, but it's like.. ok la, whatever... i dun wan to talk to you guys abt him.. mine and mine only k! lol...

omg!!


my man...

the hamsters are hyper active la.. siao liao!
love u..
ess

lots and lots!!!

i know i haven't updated for long time!!
so let's start on the 12th...
the 12th was as you all know was our 7 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! man.. long right, well, maybe comparing to some of you guys that have like 3 years together, fine~to you it's not long... =.=
baby's coming back in like 5 days!! if not then it's 28th... oh well..
yesterday was Valentine's Day and baby was so upset with himself then he couldn't be there... it's ok, babe.. make it up later!! loves... but i didn't spend the whole day sulking.. our family went to the most delicious sea food restaurant here in Urumqi... omg.. i ate till i dropped!! yum yum yummilicious!! the aunty and uncle and their daughter gave me box of heart shaped chocolates (good), and a bottle of wine.. like everytime we go out for dinner with them they sure give me wine la.. good stuff that wine!!
den today, we got HAMSTERS!!! so cute!! i got the idea of buying hamsters cos of the cartoon .. hilarious man!! i love the hamster Rhino!! "who are you?" "I'm Rhino.." "Rhino, the hamster??" i so love that part, it cracks me up!! so today we went.. omg... the puppies there are so cute!! but my mother wouldn't let us have dogs, cos we don't have time.. i understand..
there were so many to choose from.. so we got this pair, they're 3 months now.. they're white and both have stripes going down the back.. and the male has a darker like face, his name is of course Rhino and since i'm in to cheetahs and anything that concerns cheetahs, the female is of course Cheetah, and it is not weird, it's unique! and since you guys all know i really LOVE PINK, the cage itself is Pink, and the hamster ball itself is also PINK!!! lol.. the one thing that is not pink is the water tube thingy... =( oh well.. change of color.. it's blue..

the one on the left is the one with the dark thing on the face is =)

that's all!!
loves!!
ess

spring is coming!!!

whoohoo!!
spring is coming!!! in i think like a month or so.. ok, fine it seems like a long way to go, but look on the bright side right???
ok, even though is real pretty and brings life to anything in its way, i suppose winter has its own beauty as well...
and then i have to start thinking of drinks to enjoy spring!!!!!! whoohoo!!
um... nothing as well, we're gonna get hamsters!!! 2, like one female one male!! hehehe.. never keep be4...
baby's coming back on the 20th... that's like 13 more days!! that's the plan la, dunno if it'll change, aiya, very unpredictable!!!

abit blur ah, sry... took this pic 2 days ago..

love ya'll!!
ess

whatever

so yeah,
nothing's been happening much just for the fact that CNY is here, and i am not in Singapore. right, just lovely ain't it.. not..
it's alright, i'm at home, seriously to be honest after loads of thinking, i'd rather be at home on the net, than outside in the cold... *nods head..
yup, watching tv, waking up at noon, and i have to admit, waking up at noon is heaven!! omg..
um.. i love wonder girls!!! i love their songs!! and they love cheetah spots too!!! so do i.. hahaha
that's it.. baby said he's coming back on Feb.20, and when he does his ass is gonna get kicked so bad.
loves,
ess

when things start to change

when things start to change, and i feel hopeless,
when all i want is for you to be there for me, to hold me up when it feels like i'm falling,
to love me the way i love you, to not hurt me...
when my hands feel like they're gonna drop off 'cos they're shivering so bad, all i want is for you to be there for me, to gimme the warmth...
when my heart races so bad it hurts, all i wanted was for you to hold me tight and lemme know that you love me...

all i wanted was for someone to love me for who i am... but i dunno if i even have your heart anymore.. i dunno if they're all lies.. i dun wanna live in a world of lies no more, i've made that decision a long time ago.. i wanted you.. be that boy...

ess

omg!! days of shopping..

hi all!!!
so i know that i've been having an emotional roller coaster ride and all, but hey, i FINALLY feel better ya'll... thanks to those who were with me on that super scary weird ride.. i appreciate it tons!! never thought i would have made it without u guys..

i went SHOPPING today, i got the japanese kind of cat bracelets thingys!! super cute, it has my chinese last name and baby's also, on PINK thread can!!! lol.. so adorable..we also went to the first all-branded mall that's ever opened here, urumqi, and omg la.. slap me.. so awesome!! although not all the store spaces are filled, LOUIS VUITTON, and ARMANI, and tons of other branded top of the world things are there, and i touched an ARMANI man's jacket.. omg.. i used my index finger, everthing seemed so fragile.. haiz.. most of the service there are awesome!!! especailly the LOUIS VUITTON one.. of all of them we only went to two.. cos once we were inside, our hearts were racing so bad we could die, we were hyperventilating can!! no pictures or cameras allowed.. the security guard would have pulled me down i suppose!! die... my dream come true!! i didn't touch the LV's... so sad.. there's always next time!!! ah!!! filled with joy to the brim!! haha.. love it love it love it!!♥♥♥
yesterday went shoppping as well with a great pal, bought this red, rainbow stripe hoodie!! love it can!!

the cat bracelet thing!!!


my hoodie..

so that's all for now folks, cos my heart can't take it.. beating so fast.. hehehehe.. ♥love me!!♥
ess

lots...

so i've felt alot of emotions, heard alot of songs that might have triggered the emotions, and seen alot of things that reminded me of stuff, the memories of the present and the past...
how sometimes it feels like there's nobody that understands you, nobody that cares about how you feel, that people take you for granted, or because they talk to you just because you are there..

when it feels like you're falling, and when that feeling comes, it triggers off a siren, a siren that tells the people that truly care that you're falling and need help... and then they find you, that feeling of joy, and feeling so touched, that actually, there are people that truly care and truly love you for who you are... from feeling like a depressed living dead to feeling full of joy,but yet somewhere in that little corner of your heart, the pain still remains... but i know, i truly know, that someday the pain will disappear, maybe not really disappear, but fade into the memories of the past... learn to put the pain at the far back of my head, to think of happy and positive things... things that will keep me going, running, and fill me up to the brim and let it over flow! i will keep on living, not for the sake of others, but for the sake of me... giving up like that is just not me..

we have one life to live, and we must live it to the fullest~

so enuf of how i feel..
today is our 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! half a year man!! omg! so its the power between u and me babe, although i have to accept the fact that you are busy~ i love u babe.. we must be strong and carry on k?! love u! hold me tight and never let me go..

loves,
don't worry about me,
ess

pain

so many nights i cried away,
countless amounts of teardrops falling like rain..
pain that kills me over and over..
the tears, the pain, the screams..
everyday i dread nightfall, the moment that would take a part of my life away from me, bit by bit it slowly kills, bit by bit i slowly slip, slip into nothingness...
living in place where nobody cares, a place that pretends to be home..
where none of your friends are, where the people who you think are friends are actually...
please, i beg whoever is there, whoever still cares, please take me back to start...
no
i know nobody said it was easy,but no one said it was this hard....
take me back to the start...
tears falling like rain..
i need a shoulder to cry on, but there isn't one..
left alone in the dark..
no love, only pain..
take me back please!

hey...........

oh hey guys,
ok so my i just passed my birthday on 31 December, it was my Sweet 16, but ok la... Sweet 16 is more for the Americans, cos THEY GET TO DRIVE WHEN THEY TURN 16, whereas in Singapore i guess its just another ordinary birthday. i just really like it becos there's the word sweet infront of it.. =.=

it was alrite, like super load of presents, awesome, the food was good, the music was good, and the horror movie was HORRIFYING! slap me, man, that was cool! ya, i've been watching JAPANESE horror for like what, 3 days straight, and now i dun really wanna watch becos of the fact that i couldn't sleep well last nite. was like awake for like 3 hours be4 i could get back to sleep, damn, i feel so peeved!

i'm more into pink, black, and of course, DIAMANTES!! hehe.. most of my stuff are studded by diamantes! lol.. *blush... but yeah, it's cool.. living my life, as it comes and goes.. that's all..

♥ I LOVE PINK!! ♥

ess