sian.... i wanna go home....

tired....

so sick of everything here... China... wah liao... they can send me back to SG... they dun need me here...

sick of the guys.... eeeww... he's addicted to the net cafe.... he's changed... and its just like an overnight thing and he's changed... sick... they're all sick.... none of them are different... all the same... sick....

i feel like puking.... gross... i hate it here... there's no place like SG... i love SG.... no where else... i need time alone....

i wish this was all a dream.... a dream that i can wake up from... it'd just be a nightmare... a nightmare that i can forget... and never recall again... i wish i wish i wish....





had really yummy cookies.... tho... it kinda helps... hanged out with my gfs on sunday....



ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not turning emo....

ess....

intense...

o my goodness...

i just feel so intense for some weird reason.... its freaking me out... haiz...

nothing weird is happening, just that my phone has no more $$$$ again... =.=''' and i dun intend to top-up at the moment... i want to 失踪 for a week or maybe a couple of days... he promised he'll top up for me leh... but u noe guys lah... once they have a com. or internet... they just disappear... haiz... tsk tsk tsk... *speechless.... can't really rely on them... haiz... i'm patient... =) not... =.=

the weather was ok... cool.. ate 2 ice-creams today.. wow... shoik!!!

did alot of math... nearly blew my brains out... hate math....

had a party yesterday and yes!!! the 3 of us, besties... we all now have the same phone... Pink Motor Razr... we dun care if its out of date.. we just love it!!! lol... it was so hilarious.. the ppl at the party were like staring at us the whole time, cos all our phones were out.. =.= lots of good food too!!!! really stuffed... haha..

the middle one is mine...


the left one is mine....
.


i miss him...
i wanna hear his voice...
love you to bits!!
ess~

hi.....................

nothing much happened lah....
it got a bit warmer yesterday....
got stood up... man... good thing my friend was there too... gosh...
i think something happened so it didn't come...
went shopping... gosh... bad mood...
got shoes... like sneakers or sth... red ones... wow.. so far the so-called latest investment....
den went back... blew my temper.. wah... my fren think i go crazy.. was sitting in her shop... screaming my head off... felt good!!
den found out that my fone no $$$ liao.. went to top-up... and den... now i just found out my fone again no $$$ liao... tsk tsk tsk... wat kinda of world is this??
did alot of school today... tired... haiz....
but den also watch Japanese drama in between... cool.... =.= ''''
so sian.... aiya...
see ya...
ess

ok....

hey....

like i finally get to spend a day at home... wah liao eh.... my parents are out, but hey, i got fren with me ok.... not so wu liao hor... 有伙伴就OK咯... haha....

spend most of the day showing her my stuff (like a lot stuff... they say my room like museum... tsk tsk tsk)... online... went out... ate lunch... watch 斗牛要不要....

screamed at every single thing today... someone pissed me off... my friend sat there and kept saying... "哎呀，对你好无奈耶，没话说了...." i tend to scream off my anger once in a while... *weak laugh... haha...

man... i hate it when plans get ruined....

hate but love... meaning wat....



the weather is horrible.. one moment its snowing the other the sun is melting anything in its path... omg... but still damn cold...

went to take the chee-na version of neo-print... the quality... dun wanna talk abt it... SG and Jap. ones the best lah....

tired.... haiz... lol... any way... *i have my computer.... AHHHHH!! no computer no life lah....

the chee-na version of neo-print...


love you~
ess

why...

why....

why izit that this phrase is always true...
好人没有好报。。。
why izit that i have a good heart....

why izit that ppl dun appreciate what i give them....

here i am standing right next to you... but it seems like you're blinded by someone else's poisonous words...

what can i say anymore... i wanna help... but "HELLO" why are u so blinded by that *****-of-a-snake... why can't u just see me!! i don't know what to say anymore... dammit...

hey... at least i got some school work done ok... and had a real good breather... lol.... i shall not let ur words bleed my heart....

while studying.... lol....


me standing outside in the cold... it was snowing... u can't really see the snow though....


my new friend... isn't he 帅!!


oh yeah... its been snowing the whole day.... haiz...
ess...

uh oooo....

dammit...

got into a fight as in fight a few days ago... wah liao.... tsk.... pain man.... i never kick someone like i kick her be4 leh.... she stand infront of me while i sit infront of her... she push me ok... think i snatch her bf, wah liao he's the one who keep finding me ok.... once she push me, just nice she standing there, kick her stomach, wah piang... amazing view man... lol.... ha ha ha....

ok.... change subject...

yesterday i swear got this guy ok... he saw me like as if he noe me hor.... den still can chase after me leh... i swear its true!! my friend still can say i so 自恋.... cheh... he really chase me leh....

horrible sand storm outside... den tmr gonna rain and den snow... haiz.... shopping plans ruined... haiz...

love you...
ess

eeewww...

i dunno what to say.....

met some new friends today, and one of the guys just wouldn't believe whatever i say.... gosh... *shrugs... who cares??

i noe my friends have my back.... lol....

went to hang out with others also, so much fun man....

ain't we SWEET??


haiz...
ess

.....

hi guys!!

today was like ok... i guess... nothing much... *shrugs....

but i did something last night that really made my day, haha.... u'll see it later on, two pics. that's all... lol...

weather's warming up though, yes! shorts can appear!!

kinda out off cash at the moment... =.= haiz.... sad stuff...

my back, me, and my man..... i love him... lol....



love you to bits!
ess...

past few days....

*sigh....

like the past few days were like really hectic... stuff happening concerning bgr (eeww, really gross), making new friends, meeting old ones... hell... *sweat....

studied like the whole day today... gosh... *speechless... dun wanna talk abt it..

nothing much, but i noe there'll be some really good "shows" cropping up over the weekend... can't wait...

i am ready to start fresh!!


love u n only u!
ess... *muaks..

surprises....

whoa....

today was like really scribbly.... i got so-called betrayed by friends that i thot were friends... i dunno if i'm taking this too seriously or sth but what they did really hurt me... blow that....

i had a really big feast with one of my good friends, and wow~that was really filling!! the hamburger was totally eeeww... dun wanna talk abt it... but the chicken stick thingy was really REALLLLLLLY YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the best i've had in like FOREVER! then along the day we had muffins, ice-cream, and like yeah, DINNER, man... i had to like force myself to eat... haha...

anyways, middle of last week made a new friend, she's really cool, can't rmb if i mentioned her be4... her bro. owns the coolest shop that i've known so far in Urumqi, lots of cool stuff, military, Harley Davidson, toys, lighters, u name it!! they have like practically whatever you need!! oh yeah, they got a really cute dog too!!

isn't he just adorable!!

getting along with life as it is.... *shrugs....

ess

well....

well....

i feel more "sober" now, but still kinda floaty.... u noe wat i mean?? the past few days been difficult, but hey! i figured i CAN pull myself together... all kinds of ppl have been so-called talking to me lately, so i think i might have come to my senses after a long while...

figured that thinking of him practically the whole day is just a waste of time, being with him won'tbe worth anything at all.... its just a total waste of time, time that i've lost the past year, i will refill them... i will make-up for the time i've lost... been selfish all the time, i really know how the ppl around me have felt like....

just wanted to say i'm sorry....

love ya'll

*ess

whoa.... i need to unknot my life....

*sigh....

omg... my life feels like a tangled up, messed up, knotted piece of rope, string, whatever that can be entangled!!!

i so need to sort my life out... *sigh... gosh...

memories of the past keep crawling back into my mind, it hurts so bad... i have to flip over a new leaf, and then the other side is also rotten.... haha... lol.... sounds good to me.... but, yeah, i try bit by bit everyday to start anew... but i'm afraid to be happy, 'cos everytime i feel happy again, something bad happens.... gosh... i got that from Facebook, and it is so true!! i swear man...

but you can kinda picture it like, i'm just stepping in the mud the whole time, and i just don't wanna step out of it... when i can actually step right out of it and be FREE... some say it takes time to get over some certain things... ah!!!!!

i feel like banging my head on the wall to just lose my memory... fine!! i'm overreacting i noe... forgive me... =.=




chill....

anyways,
i found loads of new ways to keep busy, made a ton of new frens... feels great... its getting easier... sorta...
haha...
*love u to bits... ess